Your Sucky Life Makes me Feel Better

I long to meet pained souls...misery loves company and i need mine...i googled the words "painless suicide" today...i dont really want to kill myself, but i'd be lying if i said i dont attach some romance to the idea of a self-inflicted bullet thru the brain...

I've always had a fascination with the darker, grislier side of life...i find beauty in the mess, charm in the ironic, and solace in the enigma..googling suicide was to me a little like fantasizing about halle berry givin me a lapdance in her catwoman suit...nice to think about, but unlikely to ever happen...


the first website i stumbled upon was a Christian website...it told me that there wasnt such a thing as a painless suicide, because "the real pain comes after death, being burnt eternally in hell" Nice..

the second site told me this story about a gal who really did wanna know how to kill her self painlessly..."How do I end my life when I'm too much of a coward to do it?" she asked...that struck a chord...

i read on...this woman had a list a problems sucky enuff to make granite weep...gawd dammit, life can be such an utterly cold and merciless bitch...strangely enuff, reading this lady's problems gave me strength...

Its like i said, Misery loves company...the problem is, its so hard to find miserable company..everyone's putting up happy fronts and brave faces, and i guess its the safer thing to do in a world that crushes weakness the way 50 meters of water crushes a tin can...

This is Dreamer, signing out...

Keep Your Smelly Oysters to Yourself

G'day, folks!!

It's been a while since my last entry, and so i think i owe it to my fans to write something, even if there really is nothing pressing on my mind...

I'm beginning to worry that i've said all i've had to say about everything worth sayin anything about, but somehow, i dont really think thats true at all...

i think i've been overcome by a general sense of malaise...thinkin up new things to write about can be such a chore sometimes...it's really not fair on my readers though...you guys need my words the way a crack whore needs her fix, and i really oughta be trying harder....

and so i write...alas, inspiration comes in the form of an advert!!

Vagisil...what an effingly disgusting name!! i dont really know anythin about what the product is for, but i have a general idea....

Is it right that a product advertised on mainstream media have such a graphic name...? the product obviously derives its brand name from the word for female genitalia, and while the body part does not actually disgust me, the blatant association of the product with said body part is kinda disturbing...

Women might regard me as somethin of a prude for thinking this way..but i dont think im being overly conservative here...

Think about it...if a similar men's product called itself "Penisil", and if this product were advertised for on the mainstream media, there would be public outrage!

Women would not appreciate the mental imagery of the intimate portions of the male anatomy bein thrust upon them...why then should men not bat an eyelid when women commit the same misdemeanor..?

I do not enjoy thinking about vaginas over dinner...as desirable as they might be in other contexts, the thought of one in need of maintenance while i chow down on a meal reminds me of spoilt oysters....

I say either change the name, or stop advertising on tv! the third alternative is to allow advertisements for penis enlargers on TV...i dont see how thats any worse than one for a vagina cleaner...

hmmmm....not exactly the post i had in mind when i signed in...its better than nothing i guess...




Or is it...?

This is Dreamer, signing out.....

A Rose by Any Other Name.........

Hullo, Fans!!

the world is a flower today...a great big fragrant girly flower...my last entry was awesome, even if i do say so myself, and its left me feelin a whole lot better than i have in recent weeks!!

Its amazing the power this blog has over my emotions....one might say frightening, even!!

God knows how i'd survive without the internet...without the net, i wouldnt have this blog!! i shudder to think of a world without my wisdom to guide it!!

But anyway....As i've already said, the world is a flower today...ordinarily, i would not regard a comparison to a flower as something positive, but today is different...today, flowers are awesome...

I think i've sorta succeeded in my quest to be humorous like i used to be...nah..i take that back...im sure i have..i made quite a few people smile today....

Its nice makin people smile...even if it is at my own expense...i enjoy feigning stupidity...its fun acting daft...you should try it sometime...its liberating...

am i alone in thinking too many people take themselves too seriously all the time....? i dont like being around people who don't enjoy laughing at themselves....

I have a feeling people who take themselves too seriously all the time don't like being around me either...

I dont really care, because today, the world is a flower.....

This is Dreamer, signing out.

@--}-----

An Ode to my Brilliance......

i have decided to write aimlessly for my second post of the day...often the best things i have to say come to me when i choose not to use my brain...

i must not whine though...i've been a little too self indulgent recently...i must remember that my problems mean squat in the grander scheme of the universe...

i must celebrate life...as difficult as it seems, i must...if i do not do so in this pathetic blog, i will never do it anywhere...

i must make someone laugh...the words here are not meant to depress...they are meant to elucidate and revive...humour does that sometimes...

i have become a wannabe poet of late...i doodle at work when bored, and i write random verses...some of them are pretty good..poetry is so very self-indulgent...more self indulgent than writing a blog...

i can be such a cocky bastard sometimes...who can blame me..? i'm brilliant compared to the rest of you schmucks...

is dignity worth upholding..? when some1 treats you like dirt, do you turn the other cheek, or do u turn and show them your rear end instead..?

singaporeans are generally stupid and boring...i blame it on the government...its been telling everyone that prowess at maths makes you smart...it makes u a certain type of smart...it makes you the kinda smart thats actually stupid and boring...

have i crossed some sorta line by blaming the government..? or by calling singaporeans generally stupid, for that matter..? if there are any spooks out there reading this, you guys know im kidding dontcha..? dontcha..???

Is dissent disloyal..? does it make me unpatriotic if i have an opinion of my own..? if i thought you had at least half a brain in you, i would not have even bothered asking that question....

John Lennon was an awesome crazy brit...i luv it that he luvd yoko passionately all the way til his dying day..i luv it that he dared to dream...i luv it that he dared to disagree...we need more john lennons...

this is turning out to be the best bit of writing ive done in a while..i'm gonna screw it up a bit now by typing out one of my doodled work poems....

Art is Life
God is in the Details
Art is Strife
God is in the Derailed

Brilliant, innit..? where's my Pullitzer..?

here's one i wrote about sticking to your principles...

A pride, a fall
A grave, a crawl
A thought, regret
A-gain? you bet.

Dammit, i amaze even myself sometimes...

its healthy to believe in yourselves, you know...humility should not overshadow ur sense of self-worth...pride has been villified unjustly...

did i just spell villified correctly..? i'm not sure if my spellcheck is working...im an atrocious speller, you know...id get my ass whooped in a spelling bee by a bunch of 12 yr olds...

i tried writing a book once...i stopped at the beginning of chapter three...i had no idea where the story was going...i think there's a market for localised children's books though...it cant be that hard selling English to a bunch of barely literate brats...

I know this isnt gonna win me points with the ladies, but i cant stand kids...sometimes i force myself to try and see their beauty and shit...i dont see it...i only hear their whining..

women whine alot too...women think theyre royalty...every gal thinks she's a princess, and that she ought to be treated like one..most men pander to their whims coz they just wanna get laid...after a while, putting up with all that whining is no longer worth the sex...

I have little patience for women these days..none of you seem to have anythin interesting to say..i dont get the whole painting of fingernails and toenails either...nobody gives a shit..painting your fingernails and toenails is more self indulgent than poetry...

there are a few women i do find interesting, though...sadly, these interesting women do not hold me in the same regard...

there are some women i find teetering on the fine edge of tolerability...these are the women i would consider for a shag..you should be honoured that i would think of you that way...

I dont like flings though..they leave me feeling cheap, dirty and slutty...

i like the sound of that last line..believe it or not, its true...

I think i'll end this entry right here...its been a blast!

This is Dreamer, signing out.

A Feather in the Armpit of Creation....

gawd almighty....

I so totally hate my last two entries....have i totally lost my sense of humour...??? did i ever have one in the first place...???

Im not so sure...i used to think i was hilarious...these days im a fuckin bore...i blame it on society at large for leeching the very life outta me...god knows it couldnt possibly be my fault!!

today, i make a vow to rediscover the zest that once made me the life of every party....i vow to be crazy once again...i hate this grouch that i've recently become!!

What is a life without humour worth...? Nothing at all, i say!! Everybody knows deep down inside that the whole universe is itself a great big cosmic joke, and that humour is the divine law that governs the anarchy of existence!!

despite this, humour is so often lost on the unimaginative, and when dumb people are concerned, cracking a good joke reaps little reward..a sad reality when there are oh so many dumb people ard...

having the good nature to laugh at oneself is perceived as foolishness...teasing someone else is rude...sarcasm is mean...wit is dry...whats left..? i dont really do slapstick...

it seems there is only one alternative...ive gotta crack more dirty jokes...as if i dont do enuff of those already...

30 second pause....

i've thought about it, and i've decided to screw the world and its bland opinions...its time for me to loosen up, be myself and unleash my funny on the universe...

i'm off to a pathetic start though...this entry sucks ass as much as the last two...

i think i'm gonna end this one prematurely, and start on another one just for the heck of it...

This is Dreamer, signing out.

Nice guys finish last.....

Hello, wicked, wicked world....

We have got to be living on the sickest planet in the universe..please do not get me wrong...the planet itself is beautiful and full of wonderment...it is the people on it that are such a tragic disappointment...

We seem to nurture a system of life that guarantees reward for the unscrupulous and uncaring... it certainly does not pay in anyway to be nice...the bigger the prick you are, the better your prospects...

Its sad that we regard dishonesty as the norm...any attemt to be good is shunned upon and punished...the honest are ostracized, the wicked embraced...just look at what they did to John Lennon, and you'll know i'm right!

Alas, while it seems that i speak of life in general, my disenchantment in fact stems from my recent social encounters with members of the opposite gender..

a rather trivial issue on which to base such harsh global judgements, one might point out..i concur, but i can't help but notice how my observations reflect somewhat accurately the nature of the world we live in...

when a man meets a woman, it does not pay to be honest...one should not attempt to behave naturally...such behaviour is severely frowned upon by the fairer sex...

Nooo....in order to succeed in the game of courtship, one must fashion a completely artificial facade, and treat the fine lady in a manner that is totally unrepresentative of one's true self...women value this dishonesty, and reward it kindly with affection and physical intimacy..

I suck at lying...it thus comes as no surprise that im crap when it comes to dating...i guess i'll just have to get used to the idea of dying single....

No big loss, i guess..i'm callin it a night.

This is Dreamer signing out....

Love

My guitar is my lover and my best friend...

every night, i caress her, and together we create sweet music...with each strum, she knows what i want and how i feel...she whispers to me the secrets of my soul...

we communicate not through words, but through the communion of our souls...the language we share is alien to all but ourselves...

she understands me like none other, and for that i am grateful...

the cry of her strings are the mysteries of my heart manifest in sound...they are the echoes of the desires and laments that define me...

holding her in my arms is to unite wood and metal with flesh and bone...the universe dissolves and ceases to matter...we become the universe...

My guitar is my best friend and my lover....

This is Dreamer, signing out.

Weird Signs.....

Greetings, Earthlings...

Its a strange day today....i found myself awake as hell at 8 in the morning despite a somewhat late night out spent watching the second transformers movie...my biological clock must be broken, because i was seriously lookin forward to a morning wasted snoozing on the comfort of my bed...

Things rarely ever turn out as one expects, though...the time is now 1023, and ive just spent two fruitless hours trying to navigate myself back to slumber land to no avail...as such, i have decided to indulge in the therapeutic act of online voyeurism to an audience im not sure even exists at all...

about this mysterious audience...i've started noticing a strange phenomenon supporting the possibility that my perceived audience might actually be real! the evidence is hardly irrefutable, and is in fact more on par in terms of conclusivity with sightings of nessy and the abominable snowman....


here's what i noticed...several of my less hostile and cynical passages have actually been rated as "interesting" / "cool" in that little check-box that comes at the end of each entry!! now the cynic in me is wondering if i might have accidentally, or worse, subliminally clicked on these little check-boxes myself.... after all, as far as i know, i have a readership comprising of an awe-inspiring zero! (not counting myself, of course)

i have, since gaining awareness of these checks a while ago, taken the extra precaution of ensuring that my cursor does not stray anywhere near the empty squares...but alas, lo-and-behold!! my most recent entry, for reasons not entirely clear to myself, seems to have meritted itself an "interestng" grade!!

of course, my conscious decision to avoid accidental click-age of check-boxes does not rule out the possibility of any subliminal action on my part...this is much to my chagrin...i could very well be goin nuts without even realising it...

a fightclub scenario seems not beyond the realm of probability...my mainstream edward norton could have created for itself a brad pitt alterego who does nothing but read this blog, and click on check boxes to boost my flailing ego...it seems far more likely than someone actually taking an interest in my writing!


after all, i've only once ever found someone else's blog entry remotely interesting, and even then, it never occured to me to tell its author that i thought so...i dont get why people out there would actually take the time to read my shit, and feel the urge to express their appreciation..the idea is about as alien to me as pizza is to pluto...

i fear that my mind could be teetering on the very edge of dementia...it seems that somewhere along the way, i've lost the plot and my bearings on reality!! somebody, please prove me wrong...for the sake of my sanity, if anyone out there is indeed reading my shit, please do not leave behind an anonymous footprint!

write me a comment instead, and prove to me that my brain synapses are all still fully functioning...you woulda made me a very relieved man by doing so...

I will end today's entry with this desperate plea...damn....so much for therapeutic online voyeurism...i feel crazier now than when i began writing...anyways.....

This is Dreamer signing out.

New Beginnings...

Hello, World...

It's been too long since my last entry in this beautiful but under-appreciated blog...i dont really wanna say too much though, coz i'm sleepy as hell, and i really ought to get myself a decent night's rest...

things are lookin up these days...ive got a decent job and a steady income, and the chaos of job hunting is a thing of the past! the pay is nothing like what i used to get, but the hours are predictable, and i'm pretty satisfied for now...

the nature of the work is something im not all that excited about though, coz it involves me squeezing money outta broke people...it kinda eats away at my conscience every once in a while, but hey, you gotta do whatcha gotta do...


i got my exam results a week or two ago, and i was a little disappointed with the A+, A, and the B that i got...well, the A's were good, but the B pissed me off...im sure i did pretty damn well for the exam paper itself, so i'm guessin the assignments were what pulled my grade down...

i was kinda hopin to get my GPA back up to its former glorious level, but shcck shock horror, it actually dropped by 0.02 points, and really, that is what i am essentially peeved about...4.23 is NOT something to be proud off!

but anyways....lets see now....what else is cooking in this sloppy stew that is my life..? ah yes...the band...why on earth is it so hard to find a singer? good news is this friday, we've got a promising young candidate trying out for the spot, and i hope things work out with her, coz its a real chore lookin for someone with decent pipes and time on his / her hands...

the band repertoire seems to be building up really nicely, and im actually quite impressed with the number of songs we have...maybe sometime soon, with our new singer, we can do gigs and shit and start rocking the world for real...

and speaking of rocking the world, hats off to the great late michael jackson...you died on my birthday, and thats as good a sign as any that it is indeed my calling to carry on your legacy of musical brilliance! you'll be loved and remembered forever, you crazy / wonderful freak of a man!


on a final note...i''d like to talk about this book i just read, and that i'm damn glad i bought...its called the white tiger, and it was inspired! i strongly urge everyone out there to get your hands on a copy, and allow the story to awaken your spirit and mind!

(this is not a paid endorsement)

There really is a whole lot more i'd like to say, but its getting a little late, and i really do need to cancel off my sleep deficit! i leave you with positive vibes and waves of love, and a reminder that swine flu isnt a good enough reason to walk around lookin like an arse with a surgical mask on your face.

This is Dreamer, signing off.

Quitting's Easy...I've done it 3 times already.....

Alas, my quest to rid myself of my malignant nicotine addiction has been brought to an abrupt halt by none other than yours truly...my less than valiant 72hr effort to quit smoking proved pointless when i decided last night that a life without tobacco was no life at all...


Picture this scenario....its half past three in the monring, and my eyes are glued to the champions league finals...the halftime whistle blows, and the urge for a mid-game puff is overwhelming....


i cave...i leave the house....i find my way to a 7-11....i buy me a pack of pall malls...i light up...i inhale....ahhhhhhhh.....damn, that feels good...adios, you big fat cold turkey!! do your magic, sexy billowing smoke!!

cigarette's gone after about two minutes of sweet bliss....body's still tense though...shoulda bought me a beer as well...no bother...i'll help myself to some home-made vodka ribena to help carry me thru the second half....

slurp...this is the good life...ciggies and booze...how could i ever have chosen abstinence over THIS?? damn...i feel about a thousand times better now....body is completely at ease...mind isnt though....sigh

am i ever gonna be able to rid myself of this wretched vice (by wretched vice, i meant the cigarettes, and not the booze)...? as i type these words, the pall malls are singing my name, like the sultry sirens of mythological greece...i am inexorably drawn.....resistance is not only futile...it is impossible...

will i ever be able to quit..? i hope so, but right now, the chances look about as slim as calista flockheart....i feel really shitty about this whole failed attempt to quit...

i think i need a smoke....

This is Dreamer, signing out....

Nicotine fuelled paranoia....

Some days, you just wanna crush everything you see, touch, hear or smell...today is one of those days...the fucking world is out to get me and im in fight-back mode...


it doesn't help that financial restrictions have forced me to re-consider the wisdom behind smoking...i haven't had a puff in 48 long, long hours, and it feels like someone's grating my skull with a cheese shredder...

I crave oh so badly the cancer-sticks that taunt me from a not so insurmountable distance...my body feels like i haven't eaten in days, no matter how much food i stuff in my face, and my nerves are balancing precariously on a knives edge...

i am extremely irritable today...totally unstable... irrational...jittery...a nervous wreck....and i blame it all on my ADDICTION to smoking...my very PHYSICAL addiction, i might add...and i stress the emphasis on the upper case words in case a certain someone happens to read this...

grrrrrr.....my blood simmers like a volcano ready to spew its deadly contents.......that certain someone really really annoyed me earlier today, btw...im totally not myself tonight...i shouldnt be this annoyed, and ordinarily I wouldnt be, but like i said, im feelin irritable...

Damn the Jonas brothers...am i the only one who thinks they look disturbingly freakish??? honestly i dont know how much more of this i can take...the world is collapsing around me, even though its not, and non-issues are bugging the shit out of me...

Somebody, please fastforward my life by two weeks so i dont have to go thru this utterly crappy process??? pleeeease...?

Fuck this whiny shit...i'm outta here...i hate all of you by the way...

This is Dreamer signing out....

Cliches....

Hey peeps....

I'm feeling so under the weather these days...my life seems such a drag, and i know how we should stop and take the time to smell the roses, but id rather be the rolling stone that gathers no moss...


i got a possible job waiting for me, but its not exactly my cup of tea..im sorta holding out for sumthin better, but everyone says that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush..my mum tells me to strike while the irons hot, but the hours are just soooooo long, and we all know how all work and no play makes jack a dull boy...

ive got my mind all made up, and ive decided to hold my horses....im gonna use my spare time to work out, and get myself as fit as a fiddle...i'll start eating right too...definitely more fruits, coz an apple a day certainly keeps the doctor away...gotta be patient though...rome wasnt built in a day....

Ive gotta start getting out more too...ive become a total stick in the mud recently, and i need to get my social life back in order...no man is an island, and i gotta stop this whole loner lifestyle...good friends are hard to find, but they mean everything...they stick with you thru thick and thin, come hell or high water....

i think that if i maybe get my act together, i might just see how every cloud has its silver lining...life might not seem like a bed of roses right now, but its important that we always look at the glass as half full...keep looking at the bright side of life, is what i say..seize the day, cos today is most definitely the first day of the rest of our lives!!!


Life just seems so peachy when you phrase it with overused cliches!! yipee!! im unoriginal and im as sharp as a marble, and im grinning from ear to ear!!


This is Dreamer signing out....

Chronicles of a Bimbo....

like, helloooo everyone!

Today was, like, such a drag...i did like nothing the whole day except, like, read a textbook...can you like try and imagine that..? me reading...?? thats like soooooooo 2006!! i wouldnt be caught DEAD near a book in public! Unless of course its like, Vogue or something...

So i was like sitting at home, and i got like sooooo sick of my textbook that i like totally went mental and went on a total bitch-fit...? and like i jumped in a taxi and told the driver to get me to town, and he was like, soooooo checking me out!!!

thats like soooooo yucky!!the guy was like at least 40...?!? and he like totally dressed WEIRD!! like if he had some money, then maybe i woulda like batted an eyelid or sumthing, but taxi drivers must be like the poorest people in the whole frikkin world..?

So i like totally gave that perv the evil eye and he like pretended he didnt notice and like totally kept on staring and shit..? but i could still totally FEEL him lookin, like under his shades thru that mirror cars have like over the steering wheel...? like he totally kept staring, and i couldnt see through those cheap-ass shades, but i felt his creepy crawly eyes UNDRESSING me??

I mean, like, who did he think he was kidding...? i know a perv when i see a perv!! and this perv was like the biggest, EVER..?? like nobody ever uses that stupid mirror that much...? and he kept on lookin at the mirror like every ten seconds..? i like totally know that im hot..? and i dont need you to, like, prove it..?

So anyway, i was like what-everrrrr....and i got out of the taxi...? and i told that broke-ass cabbie to like keep the change, and he told me i was a dollar short..? and i was like dude, its like just a dollar...? and then, he like shook his head at ME, and said forget it...??? like as if I care...

and i was like standing there, and you could like totally tell all the guys were checking me out..??? and the girls were like mega pissed off..? it was like totally frikkin hilarous..?!? like, dont hate me just coz im hot!!!

so i was like waiting for the the rest, and i was like really really hungry, and i went to Burger King, and i bought myself a salad..? and thats when they came and i was like oh... my... gawd....who was the new girl..?

like, what a total DORK!! so i like said to her, "nice shoes", and she like totally thought i meant it..? like, what a loooooser!!

and like she ate like a whole frikkin burger!! what a total pig!! and when she was done, she like apologised and said she had to leave coz she needed to study..?? like, what???

Its like im totally glad she left, coz i was like thinking about the future, and its like the rest'a the day woulda like totally sucked if she'd hung around...?


The End.


This is Dreamer, signing out.

Sex Sells coz Women Sell It....

If you seek amy..??? oh c'mon...it doesnt even make any meaningful sense in the lyrical context of the song...i dont know if it makes me a prude, but it never ceases to astound me how women with that much success continue to parade their lady-lumps in the name of more success...there really isnt a need to, is there..?


i mean, for cryin out loud, she could retire right now and still have enough to live two entire lifetimes of reasonable luxury...Nonetheless, she persists in flaunting her assets (liabilites to some)...

i get it that some women are confident with their sexuality, and i get it that society is unfair in the way that it degrades sexually liberated women as sluts while like-minded men are knighted as players, but geez...are these women really comfortable with the fact that teenagers around the world treat their music videos like porn??? Dont they know what these kids do with their pictures in the privacy of their boudouirs..???

On the flip side, it wouldnt be all that bad if i were a rock star and the chicks thought of me as a sex-symbol (if all goes well, a likely reality in the not-so-distant future)...i wouldnt wanna be degraded to nuthin more than an object of female lust though...there's more to me than my sexy body and boyish good looks, and i'd want the world to know that!!

i guess part of the blame here lies with the male audience that perpetuates the demand for hot female bods in music...its not our fault, really...we're wired that way, us guys...we're stimulated visually and we cant help it...i just think women shouldnt blame us for thinkin of women as sex objects so much when all around us, thats exactly how women allow themselves to be portrayed...

i'd appreciate some female input on this though...would you chicks out there mind if you knew that pimply-faced, acne-ridden, hormone fueled teens around the world (and admittedly, many grown men as well) were havin lewd sexual fantasies about you on a regular basis..?

would it be a source of pride, or a shameful weight around your neck...? or would it not make any difference at all..? dont forget to consider the enormous wealth and fame that your new-found status as a poorly-disguised porn star comes with!!

let's just say that i wouldnt watch a pussycat doll video for the music...nicole makes my liver quiver, and i dont really care how well she sings (note that she and i are on a first name basis)...would it bother you if you were in her shoes..??

would the fact that you prance around in those outfits (or lack of outfits) for the viewing pleasure of pervs all over the world (all men are pervs to varying degrees) make you think any less of yourselves...?

thinkin back on all that stuff ive just written, i guess i am a bit of a prude...i get the feeling that you women like being sexy, and enjoy the effect that ur hotness has on men (or am i tragically misinformed..???)

it seems about time we lifted the stigma attached to women being openly sexual...women have as much a right to the art of seduction as men do, so i might as well be grateful and enjoy the view!

i still cant help but feel that its a shame that sex sells as much as it does, and that women sell it as much as they do...i'm sure there are plenty of fugly women out there who, while immensely talented, will never make it in the music industry...


plenty of ugly men too, for that matter...women buy into sex as much as we guys do...think about it...who was the last really ugly male artist uve seen on MTV...? even Timbaland has a teddy-bear adorability thats sorta marketable..

no worries for me though...im gorgeous...

as i'm writing this, i'm tuned into MTV, and guess what...another hot chick!! no idea who she is, but im definitely gonna find out!! the song's mediocre at best though, now that i've forced myself to stop focussing on her cleavage...

Question is, should it bother me at all that the only reason im even interested is because of the fact that she's lickin her lips with her top unbuttoned....?

i dont know...you tell me...

This is Dreamer, signing out.

How do you know?

Hey, y'all...

I've decided to broach a topic rather close to my heart today, a topic that a part of me is tellin not to broach....today i open the floodgates on the topic of religion, but first of, let me state my stand on the issue...I believe in a God, but i also acknowledge that my believe has no logical basis for existing...


I started believing in the Christian God since i was 13, and was converted from atheism by my parents, who themselves had recently converted...as i tend to do with so many things, i plunged headfirst into my then new found faith and quest for salvation....

at the tender age of 13, it was easy to believe without questioning, but as i grew older, i felt all wasnt right with my faith, and though i didnt quite know what it was about christianity that bugged me, the rose tinted glasses did come off...

This post isn't about the fallacies of christianity as i saw it, or as anyone sees it, for that matter...this post is about religion in general, and some of the problems that stem from it..This post is not about any one religion specifically, but the unquestionable faith that some of us ascribe to....

My concern with religion lies not in mankind's inclination to believe in a god, or in gods, that have never been proven to exist...as i have said earlier, i myself do still believe in a God...my concern here is in the absolute certainty with which so many on our sacred planet practice their religions...

When i was younger, i was so convinced that christianity was the only true religion, and that the jews had got it wrong for rejecting our Christ...i had not a shadow of doubt in my mind that i was right, and that anyone believing in anything other than my truth was just plain wrong...

It was easy to feel that way, with the good book itself calling for such absolute faith, the kind abraham showed when he almost sacrificed his only son to his God..these days, ten years after i last went to a church with a complete believe in the christian faith, i've realised something that shoulda occurred to me much earlier, had i only stopped to think about it...

I wasnt the only one absolutely convinced...practitioners of every religion believe themselves to be the chosen / enlightened ones, and while we christians prayed for the salvation of these pagans, in their eyes, they were just as convinced that we were the true heathens....

Its something sooooo incredibly obvious, but i never really saw things that way, because contemplating religion was something i was actually a little wary of doing until recently... subconsciously, i knew that if i thought about it too much, i'd find reasons to not believe as much...

within the christian faith itself, there are hundreds of different takes on how God should be worshipped...within the realm of religion as a whole, there are thousands or maybe even millions of believes, each with their own paths to salvation...mankind has never agreed on God, and the reason is plain and simple...

We just dont know. There is absolutely no way of knowing which way is right and which is wrong, or if in fact there even is such a thing as a right way...i could shout as much as i wanted to about my way being right, but that wouldnt lend any weight to my argument...there's just no way of knowing for sure....


i think it is important at this juncture to stress that i am not admonishing the practice of religion...i am also NOT accusing all religious practitioners of being unreasonably judgemental know-it-alls..there is nothing wrong believing in something greater than ourselves...it is an innate feature of man...we thirst for meaning in this world that passes us by...

My problem with religion is when we allow it to blind us to the fact that we really don't know any better than anyone else out there...we claim to believe in something bigger than the parameters of our own human minds, and we believe in it so strongly, to the point that we feel that we've got it figured out...the irony...

we then take our believes and enforce the ideologies encompassed in those believes upon the whole world...we let these believes tell us who to love and who to hate...we allow these believes to tell us that some wars are justified...we allow these believes to tell us who to ostracize and who to embrace...

It sickens me when human beings discard their humanity and neglect each other in the name of a God...it sickens me when complex social issues become 2-dimensional moral issues when seen thru the 'eyes of faith'..

What im trying to say is this...feel free to believe in whatever you want, but while you're here on earth, the one thing we all have in common is our complete ignorance in matters of religion, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not...

there is no reason, logic, or morality in allowing things we do not know or understand divide us..any religion that does divide or discriminate is one that should be fundamentally questioned..

On a personal note, i feel that any God worth believing in would not create a race of confused people, and then condemn the vast majority of these confused people for not choosing the right religion, when the choice itself all along was so damn confusing..

i think judgement operates on a whole different system, one thats less enforced, and more intrinsic....we all have a conscience, and we all have brains...maybe God would like it if we started using these God-given compasses just a little bit more...?

This is Dreamer, signing out.

Being a labrat aint that bad....

It's half past 5 in the morning, and im bored shitless....in about an hours time, i've gotta drive my mum to some place in Newton, and bid her farewell as she leaves on a bus headed for Malaysia, with a group of people i know little about...she'll be back saturday night..seems like my mum has more fun than i do, these days!

i've decided to use this hour to write aimlessly about my aimless life...recently, its been nuthin but books and studyin for me, and im kinda gettin in the groove of it...that doesnt mean i wouldnt rather be doin sumthin else though, and speakin of somethin else, what id really like to be doin is watchin the new x-men origins thing!


i'd posted an appeal on my facebook account for a movie date to step forth, but sadly, nobody has reciprocated..really tragic...im probably gonna have to watch wolverine do his shit in the solace of my own company...aint got the time to go around askin the ladies out...lotsa studyin to be done..just gotta get my hollywood blockbuster fix, and its back to the books for me! some female companionship woulda been nice though...

on a different note, Ive recently joined a friends men's rights facebook group...i am a strong advocate of gender equality, but what is it with the ladies these days? you gals wanna be treated like equals but you constantly submit yourselves to mindsets that perpetuate your subordination...take for instance the whole female parking lot thing...its like telling the world "we women need the charity of men"...You gals should be offended...you're letting the world treat you as somethin less than equal...

Ranting is so therapeutic...i dont know if ive represented my stand on gender equality fairly and accurately in that last paragraph, but right now, i donty really care!! its almost six in the morning and stayin up this late is doin my biological clock no favours...the clocks all screwed up by the way...or maybe its just set to japan time...i do not ever fall asleep before 3 these days, and im lucky if i make it to dreamland before 5...

last night, i was up til around 6, but i was glad i was up, coz of the shit they were showin on the history channel about the universe...i've developed a strange fascination with these documentaries that talk about relativity, the warping of space and time, black holes and the expanding universe..i dont know if i'll ever really understand any of it, but its a whole lotta fun just TRYING to make sense of it!

Did you know that some of the greatest minds in existence today are convinced that humanity is on the verge of unlocking the secrets of travelling through the fourth dimension (time, in case you weren't sure)? did you know that satellites orbitting our planet in space are already travelling through time at a different rate from the rest of us down here, and have to be programmed in order that the resulting time difference is offset on a regular basis..? Thats some serious shit right there!

Einstein was a genius....i sorta get his explanation of gravity to a certain extent, but damn! the rest of its pretty darn confusing! the amazing thing was that most of the stuff he came up with was stuff he just thought off...they werent observations in a lab...they were thoughts floating around in his head...totally awesome..

i saw this other documentary on youtube...they gave a buncha rats marijuana and cocaine, just to show that chemicals can affect the body's perception of time...i mean, what the fuck! im pretty sure chemicals like those affect the body's perception of everything!! anyway, what really impressed me about the experiment was the control rat, the one injected with plain old saline (no psychedelic mind-trip for YOU, homeboy!)...


the rat was actually trained to press a lever at 12 second intervals to earn a food pellet...and he pulled it off...official time: 12.071 seconds...pretty damn accurate! how the fuck do you train a rat to count to 12...???? hahaha...stupid question...dont bother answering!

woah...check it out...its like 6:04 am...half an hour gone..i must say, this is the most fun ive had writing in this blog for a while...still got some time left...not gonna stop just yet...

so lets see...what else is big on my agenda these days..? ah yes...the band....pretty cool havin a bunch of like-minded band members committed to the common goal of rocking the world with our own hard-rockin brand of pure rock! well...that might be overstating it a little lah...first of all...rocking the world..? more realistic goal: rockin a sleazy pub where everybody's drunk, including us...secondly...own brand of hard rockin rock? we dcont rock that hard lah...we're more of an intellectual, classy sorta band lah...pretty mellow and chill...

nonetheless.......first 2 sessions have shown that with a bit of practice, we'd definitely sound pretty damn good, if you ask me...its juz a matter of waiting for the exams to finish and puttin in some old fashioned elbow grease into gettin a proper repertoire of songs...good thing is, ive improvised and accomodised, and turned my house into a good and proper jam studio, so no worries about havin to pay to play...we jam for free, and we rock however long we wanna...nice!

6:14 now...maybe another paragraph or two before i go...well, lets see...here's something random...i need to get laid! not sure how much about this i should disclose though...all i can say is that my last little adventure was kinda...spontaneous and one off..? hmm...too much said alredi...

maybe what i really need is the chance to become a lab rat and have mind-altering drugs infused into my bloodstream in the name of good old science..doesnt sound all that bad to me...i gotta go know...the mother beckons...it was fun...maybe i'll do this whole aimless writing thing again sometime soon...

This is Dreamer, signing out.

Stop and Smell the Roses in the Graveyard...

Hi All...

I'm back and the world suddenly seems like a harsh harsh place...I've thought back on all my previous posts, and it occurs to me now how positive and assured i've sounded throughout the duration of this blog's existence...today, i write to remind myself how little i truly know...

Now dont get me wrong, i do not intend to take back any of the sentiments i have expressed thus far...i stand by them wholeheartedly, and my conscience is clear...i have been brutally honest about my opinions and feelings, and have no regrets about a word i have written...

It is what i have not written that i am concerned with...all these perspectives i have, all these lessons that ive learnt, and all the answers i have contrived serve well in disguising the uncertainty and insecurity i feel so often on a daily basis...one might be excused for labelling me a stuck-up know-it-all based on my past musings....

I dont blame you...i write this shit mostly for myself...its a way of keeping myself in check, reminding myself of whats important, and telling myself to keep that chin up...its a pep-talk from your's truly to your's truly...as such, i have refrained from berating myself excessively, and have opted to focus on the stuff that pushes me along my chosen path of discovery....

Today, however, i feel this overwhelming urge to tell the world (somewhat ineffectively through this rather unpopular blog) that i am indeed aware of how little i truly know about everything...i'm not ashamed to admit that what i know is a speck of dust in the universe of knowledge that abounds...i would be ashamed to say that i'm not tryin to find out more than what i do know...

I've recently rediscovered the cynic in me, and he's back with a venomous vengeance... cynicism should be a religion...worshipers should be taught to question everything, and to not take reality at face value...If everyone were a cynic, there wouldn't be anything left in the world to be cynical about...The cynics would have questioned every despicable ulterior motive, and nobody would get away with anything selfish or dastardly...the world would be an honest place to live in..

Happy ignorance is a crime against humanity...turning a blind eye makes one an accomplice...we owe it to each other to investigate the truth behind all the things we take for granted...it's not an easy thing to do, but heck, somehow i get the feeling that we'd be graded more for effort than for actually knowing shit...the quest for truth is a noble pursuit, regardless of whether we manage to find it or not...

Throughout this blog, i've been extremely positive, and self-assured to the point that some might regard me as cocky...today, i am proud to declare that i do not have all the answers, but hey, at least im searching...

Inside every cynic is an idealist...we see the world for what it could be, and the fact that reality is so far from the ideal upsets us oh so much...in years past, ive let this depression get to me, and i've tried to surrender my ideals...well, it doesnt werk that way for us cynics...escapism is not the solution...the shit we try to hide from ourselves always has a way of seeping back into the forefront...we cant help but be aware...

These days, id like to think that i've matured a little (not too much i hope)...i've realised that theres not much an ordinary person like myself can do to change the entire screwed-up world...we can't do it all, but we do what we can..to change the world, we need to change minds, and i'm starting with mine...

Life is a bloody great mystery, and the big mistake in our world itoday s thinking that we've got it all figured out...we accept society's prescribed truths and we do not question our believes, but we allow them to divide us...that is the fallacy of man (and woman - gender equality means you get as much of the blame)...

The world needs more cynics...do the world a favour and start thinking about things..we might never find the right answers, but at least we'll be asking the right questions....

I end with an amusing quote on cycnicism by a man about whom i know nuthing - "A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.". Seek the truth, however ugly it may be.

This is Dreamer signing out....

Plagiarism and Flattery....

Hullo, One and All....

Just thought i'd give props to Aerosmith for coming up with the best lyrics for a song ever..Here's to you, Steve and Gang...you've summed up life in a page...


Dream On

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through

This is Dreamer, signing out.

My Life as a Cutip....

We see things differently, you and me...well, at least we did back then...these days, i dont see at all (probably because im dead), but it wasnt always that way...for the most part of my life, the world was a haze, shrouded behind a veil of fuzzy cotton and a cheap plastic lid...the world was a mystery, and none of us had the grey matter we needed to solve it...

Our universe was small, a cylindrical semi-transparent cage that held a hundred of us closer together than we woulda liked to have been...our roof was shut tight and there was nowhere to go...it wouldnt have made much difference if it were open...inanimate objects tend not to move around very much....

All we had for company were each other, and the great unknown that lay beyond our milky-transluscent prison...we were happy though...all we ever did was talk, and life was a ball...All of that changed, though, the moment our universe got swept away...

I remember it like it was yesterday...There i was, chatting up this hot pink cutip, when gravity decided to change direction......a dark shadow seemed to have our entire universe in its mighty grasp, and it soon occured to us that whatever this magnificent force was, it was bringing everything we knew somewhere else...

Our universe shook and trembled in the tight grip of the malignant shadow, but after a while, the shaking stopped, the shadow vanished, and stability was restored...The chaos and panic that ensued, however, was extreme...theories were thrown around, but nobody could really offer a reasonable explanation...and then the unthinkable happened...

The cheap plastic lid that shielded us from the great unknown twisted itself off, and lo and behold, the heavens were revealed to us in greater clarity than we thought possible..Our shouts were silenced by the spectacle, and every one of us was too awestruck to speak...at least until more of the unthinkable happened...again...

A dark, giant mass, with five enormous tendrils, swooped down towards our portal from the heavens...two of the tendrils clasped between them a yellow cutip, and yanked it out from among us....before any of us had the time to scream, the tendrils and the yellow cutip had vanished, as if they had never existed, and a while later, our portal to the heavens was sealed shut again...

Day after day, the process repeated itself....our numbers dwindled, and it wasnt long before one of the wiser amongst us suggested prayer to the mighty abductor as a way to appease it...and so we prayed...we prayed all day and all night, but still, without fail, everyday soon after the rising of the great light, one of us would be taken...

When we realised that our prayers were not working, we turned on each other...we accused the other of not praying hard enough, and soon whatever affection we once held for each other had melted under the heat of our mistrust...

When there were only ten of us left, our suspicion of the other had developed into a hatred so vile that it left no room for reason...we prayed and we prayed, and we hated each other as hard as we prayed, and ineveitably, with the rising of the great light that came each day, another would be taken...

I was the last of two cutips left after all the rest had been taken...we were by this point too numb to hate, as despair and fear had sapped us of the energy needed for contempt...we decided then to look to reason and to acknowledge that the only things we had worth living for were each other...we formed a desperate kinship that day, and for the first time in as long a time as i could remember, existence seemed worthwhile....

The next day, he was taken, and i was the last one left..i was grateful for the sense of friendship i had rediscovered the day before, and rejuvenated by this, i was no longer afraid...when the dark mass with its sinister tendrils came for me, i was happy that i had managed to make peace with myself...


The End.


And the moral of the story is............


Whatever the hell you want it to be.....


This is Dreamer, Signing out.

Madness Everywhere...

It is insane that we are not all insane in this insane world.

This is Dreamer signing out.

World Domination

Good Morning, People!

The Dreamer now has a fantastic fan-base of ONE!!! Believe it or not, there is actually somebody out there who gives a shit about what i have to say...the thought astounds me!

I am not gonna reveal the identity of my fan, but i'm sure you know who you are....This post is for you (cause you specifically asked for one) - you have created a crack in the dam, and soon the floodgates will burst open!! Fans will flock to this website like women to a shoe-sale!!!


I will rule cyberspace with an iron fist!!! there is no stopping me!!! resistance is futile!!! muahahhahhaha!!! bow to my greatness, scum of the earth!!!

:)

This is Dreamer, signing out.

The Only Happy People In The World Are Stupid...

A good evening to you, my beloved audience!

Tonight, the cynic in me re-emerges, brought back from the brink of its demise, to grace the world with its not-so-appealing words of wisdom. The Christian rock band Jars of Clay once sang, "Blessed are the shallow, depth they'll never find...." I have been reminded, in a somewhat depressing manner, of my conviction that intelligence and happiness do not mix well.

While i do not regard myself as extraordinarily intelligent, i would like to think of myself as something other than stupid...my definition of the term "intelligence" is derived from a comparison against the general dumb-ness that prevails in this home our planet, and the people for whom the devotion of intellect towards the lives we lead is too heavy an investment.


Earlier this evening, i was engaged in a conversation with a certain someone, who i have only recently come to discover is extremely unhappy...needless to say, this someone is a pretty intelligent someone, and after years of general observation, it is apparent to me that the link between unhappiness and intellect is far from a coincidence...

Stupidity breeds happiness, and intelligence breeds sorrow...nobody with a brain deserving of the space it takes up can go through life without realising the injustice, the insanity, the god-awful perversion that plagues our little blue sphere...The idiots of our world watch everything spin by in blissful ignorance, but the ones who can't help but ponder are not so fortunate...we see reality in all its grim, ugly detail.

Therein lies the dilemma - do the few with intelligence play dumb and be happily blind, or do we deny ourselves this privilege and hold on to the very torch that illuminates our world and makes clear all its splendid horror? after some thought, i have decided that happiness is not as important as illumination.

Its a sucky predicament to be in, but somebody's gotta be doing the thinking down here. Someone once chastised me for thinking too much about whats wrong with the world, but i chastised that scum-bucket right back. There isnt such a thing as thinking too much. Not thinking enough, on the other hand, is a sin inexcusable.

Not thinking enough is why we have ignorance, and ignorance is why the world is in the shit its in today. The only reason why violence, corruption, greed and hatred are allowed to perpetuate is because not enough people have stopped to think about these things. Put on your thinking caps, you selfish bastards!! start giving a f@#k for once in your lives!!


If enough smart people started thinking these things through, and told all the stupid people the shit they knew, change would be inevitable. This is the burden of intelligence - we carry the cross of misery in the hope that someday, enough stupid people stop and notice, and learn what it is we are so unhappy about.

As a note to my unhappy friend, i don't really know if any of this is relevant to you, but please, if there is one message you take from all this banter, let it be this - don't try and be normal, just so you can be happy...normal people are stupid!! be yourself, and let your misery blaze like a trophy!!

I leave you with the wise words of fat boy slim, telling us how not to be:

"You know what is what, but you don't know what is what...you just strut....what the f@#k...."

This is Dreamer, signing out....

Boredom....

The desire to write is difficult to summon when the days are but a languid blur, hazy from the slothfulness that comes after leaving a job that edges on the boundaries of slave labour...Somehow, i have worked up the energy required for today's post, and now that i have started, i am obliged to rack my brain to make this entry as interesting as possible...

A difficult task when you consider the nothingness that fills my time, upon which i base my typewritten musings....I ponder and ponder, and still my fingers pound away at the keys aimlessly, unaware of what the next sentence is to bring...I am as curious to find out where this entry leads me as you are (assuming of course that you are curious at all..)


It is perhaps best that i snap myself out of this stupor...i have spent nearly a week now recuperating from the trying ordeals that were very much an integral part of the job i left behind, and by now i should be well rested...

Trouble is, i have become a little too well rested for my own good...you know that feeling you get when you spend a whole day in bed lazing around a filling your time with meaningless nothings...? well, multiply that by 7 and you'd know how i feel...i gotta get out more, find myself things to do....

So far i have filled my time with movies, books, and my guitar (which sadfully has been oh so neglected over the last couple a months). Yesterday i played football for the first time in two months, and it felt great running around and sweating it out. Tomorrow, thankfully, i get to work my brain at school...that should be a good way to finally get myself off my lazy figurative ass!

I've gotta start puttin in more effort into my spare time..i gotta work on my social life, and get in touch with old friends...i gotta get myself a date...i'm sure i've kept the women waiting long enough!!

i feel like someones hit the reset button for my life, and starting all over again isnt easy...its gotta be done, though, and what better time than right now? gosh, have i told you how i hate the way the optimist in me sounds..? sigh...

All in all, i think today's post sucked ass big time...too tired to start over again though...you'll just have to live with this shit for now....i promise I'll find somethin more interestin to talk about the next time i blog...damn, i hate that word...blog...it reeks of self-indulgence!

To my faithful audience of zero, i leave you with my lethargic blessings and the useful advise of Kid Rock: "You can look for answers, but that ain't fun...so get in the pit, and try to love someone..."

This is Dreamer, signing out.....

Much Can Change in Four Months!!!

Ah, the sweet scent of anonymous self-disclosure within the infinity of cyberspace...I'm back, people! Alas, after months of neglect, misery and boredom have prompted me to seek refuge in the solace of my own, pointless words...

Much has happened in the space of...let's see now...4 months...? I have found a job, gotten pretty good at it, been pushed around a bit and made to work ridiculous hours, and after all that, I have come to the conclusion that I am worth more than a shitty job that comes with excruciatingly long hours, little prospects, and a measly pay.

Pretty arrogant of me to think so, some might say, especially in light of the economic turmoil that looms over us like the dark shadow of an enormous vulture, ready to profit from our imminent demise!!

Well, screw you and your stale opinions if you feel that way! There's more to life than watching the hours tick by within the confines of an air-conditioned prison! Life is too precious to be sold in fear for the promise of safe and boring passage..

Life is what we make it, and right now is the time for me to make it right! I have created for myself a new beginning, and this time around I'm not gonna rush into it so cock-sure of myself...I'm gonna take the time to think things through, to weigh my priorities, to determine what it is I'd like doing in the first place...

I'm gonna find the time to pursuit my passions and to chase my dreams.. I will be a rockstar, and I will be a writer!! I will start playing the best football of my life, and I will find love...things are gonna be good from this day forward...

The good thing about going through a truly miserable patch in your life is that it teaches you to cherish more the things you once took for granted...spending the night within the comfort of my boudoir is a luxury I once could ill-afford...strumming my guitar to a simple tune is like the freedom of heaven in the aftermath of what I went through...

I have been reminded of what in life is truly beautiful, and I know it is these that I must chase...if that makes me a misfit, then so be it.. I see no reason for fitting into a world that prostitutes its time for ridiculous material gain, anyway...I will chase rewards that satisfy the soul, and not the wallet...

there is so much in me that I want to pour out, so much anguish, so much emotion, so much of what I feel I have learnt... I could go on and on for hours and not stop...but alas, it is getting late, and I must immerse myself in the beautiful world of my dreams...

I apologise to my multitude of fans...you poor souls, you must have felt so abandoned!

I shall leave you tonight with a reminder, that as we grow older, our ambitions should change and evolve...they should never shrivel or die.

Live the dream….

This is Dreamer, signing out.