Quitting's Easy...I've done it 3 times already.....

Alas, my quest to rid myself of my malignant nicotine addiction has been brought to an abrupt halt by none other than yours truly...my less than valiant 72hr effort to quit smoking proved pointless when i decided last night that a life without tobacco was no life at all...


Picture this scenario....its half past three in the monring, and my eyes are glued to the champions league finals...the halftime whistle blows, and the urge for a mid-game puff is overwhelming....


i cave...i leave the house....i find my way to a 7-11....i buy me a pack of pall malls...i light up...i inhale....ahhhhhhhh.....damn, that feels good...adios, you big fat cold turkey!! do your magic, sexy billowing smoke!!

cigarette's gone after about two minutes of sweet bliss....body's still tense though...shoulda bought me a beer as well...no bother...i'll help myself to some home-made vodka ribena to help carry me thru the second half....

slurp...this is the good life...ciggies and booze...how could i ever have chosen abstinence over THIS?? damn...i feel about a thousand times better now....body is completely at ease...mind isnt though....sigh

am i ever gonna be able to rid myself of this wretched vice (by wretched vice, i meant the cigarettes, and not the booze)...? as i type these words, the pall malls are singing my name, like the sultry sirens of mythological greece...i am inexorably drawn.....resistance is not only futile...it is impossible...

will i ever be able to quit..? i hope so, but right now, the chances look about as slim as calista flockheart....i feel really shitty about this whole failed attempt to quit...

i think i need a smoke....

This is Dreamer, signing out....

Nicotine fuelled paranoia....

Some days, you just wanna crush everything you see, touch, hear or smell...today is one of those days...the fucking world is out to get me and im in fight-back mode...


it doesn't help that financial restrictions have forced me to re-consider the wisdom behind smoking...i haven't had a puff in 48 long, long hours, and it feels like someone's grating my skull with a cheese shredder...

I crave oh so badly the cancer-sticks that taunt me from a not so insurmountable distance...my body feels like i haven't eaten in days, no matter how much food i stuff in my face, and my nerves are balancing precariously on a knives edge...

i am extremely irritable today...totally unstable... irrational...jittery...a nervous wreck....and i blame it all on my ADDICTION to smoking...my very PHYSICAL addiction, i might add...and i stress the emphasis on the upper case words in case a certain someone happens to read this...

grrrrrr.....my blood simmers like a volcano ready to spew its deadly contents.......that certain someone really really annoyed me earlier today, btw...im totally not myself tonight...i shouldnt be this annoyed, and ordinarily I wouldnt be, but like i said, im feelin irritable...

Damn the Jonas brothers...am i the only one who thinks they look disturbingly freakish??? honestly i dont know how much more of this i can take...the world is collapsing around me, even though its not, and non-issues are bugging the shit out of me...

Somebody, please fastforward my life by two weeks so i dont have to go thru this utterly crappy process??? pleeeease...?

Fuck this whiny shit...i'm outta here...i hate all of you by the way...

This is Dreamer signing out....

Cliches....

Hey peeps....

I'm feeling so under the weather these days...my life seems such a drag, and i know how we should stop and take the time to smell the roses, but id rather be the rolling stone that gathers no moss...


i got a possible job waiting for me, but its not exactly my cup of tea..im sorta holding out for sumthin better, but everyone says that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush..my mum tells me to strike while the irons hot, but the hours are just soooooo long, and we all know how all work and no play makes jack a dull boy...

ive got my mind all made up, and ive decided to hold my horses....im gonna use my spare time to work out, and get myself as fit as a fiddle...i'll start eating right too...definitely more fruits, coz an apple a day certainly keeps the doctor away...gotta be patient though...rome wasnt built in a day....

Ive gotta start getting out more too...ive become a total stick in the mud recently, and i need to get my social life back in order...no man is an island, and i gotta stop this whole loner lifestyle...good friends are hard to find, but they mean everything...they stick with you thru thick and thin, come hell or high water....

i think that if i maybe get my act together, i might just see how every cloud has its silver lining...life might not seem like a bed of roses right now, but its important that we always look at the glass as half full...keep looking at the bright side of life, is what i say..seize the day, cos today is most definitely the first day of the rest of our lives!!!


Life just seems so peachy when you phrase it with overused cliches!! yipee!! im unoriginal and im as sharp as a marble, and im grinning from ear to ear!!


This is Dreamer signing out....

Chronicles of a Bimbo....

like, helloooo everyone!

Today was, like, such a drag...i did like nothing the whole day except, like, read a textbook...can you like try and imagine that..? me reading...?? thats like soooooooo 2006!! i wouldnt be caught DEAD near a book in public! Unless of course its like, Vogue or something...

So i was like sitting at home, and i got like sooooo sick of my textbook that i like totally went mental and went on a total bitch-fit...? and like i jumped in a taxi and told the driver to get me to town, and he was like, soooooo checking me out!!!

thats like soooooo yucky!!the guy was like at least 40...?!? and he like totally dressed WEIRD!! like if he had some money, then maybe i woulda like batted an eyelid or sumthing, but taxi drivers must be like the poorest people in the whole frikkin world..?

So i like totally gave that perv the evil eye and he like pretended he didnt notice and like totally kept on staring and shit..? but i could still totally FEEL him lookin, like under his shades thru that mirror cars have like over the steering wheel...? like he totally kept staring, and i couldnt see through those cheap-ass shades, but i felt his creepy crawly eyes UNDRESSING me??

I mean, like, who did he think he was kidding...? i know a perv when i see a perv!! and this perv was like the biggest, EVER..?? like nobody ever uses that stupid mirror that much...? and he kept on lookin at the mirror like every ten seconds..? i like totally know that im hot..? and i dont need you to, like, prove it..?

So anyway, i was like what-everrrrr....and i got out of the taxi...? and i told that broke-ass cabbie to like keep the change, and he told me i was a dollar short..? and i was like dude, its like just a dollar...? and then, he like shook his head at ME, and said forget it...??? like as if I care...

and i was like standing there, and you could like totally tell all the guys were checking me out..??? and the girls were like mega pissed off..? it was like totally frikkin hilarous..?!? like, dont hate me just coz im hot!!!

so i was like waiting for the the rest, and i was like really really hungry, and i went to Burger King, and i bought myself a salad..? and thats when they came and i was like oh... my... gawd....who was the new girl..?

like, what a total DORK!! so i like said to her, "nice shoes", and she like totally thought i meant it..? like, what a loooooser!!

and like she ate like a whole frikkin burger!! what a total pig!! and when she was done, she like apologised and said she had to leave coz she needed to study..?? like, what???

Its like im totally glad she left, coz i was like thinking about the future, and its like the rest'a the day woulda like totally sucked if she'd hung around...?


The End.


This is Dreamer, signing out.

Sex Sells coz Women Sell It....

If you seek amy..??? oh c'mon...it doesnt even make any meaningful sense in the lyrical context of the song...i dont know if it makes me a prude, but it never ceases to astound me how women with that much success continue to parade their lady-lumps in the name of more success...there really isnt a need to, is there..?


i mean, for cryin out loud, she could retire right now and still have enough to live two entire lifetimes of reasonable luxury...Nonetheless, she persists in flaunting her assets (liabilites to some)...

i get it that some women are confident with their sexuality, and i get it that society is unfair in the way that it degrades sexually liberated women as sluts while like-minded men are knighted as players, but geez...are these women really comfortable with the fact that teenagers around the world treat their music videos like porn??? Dont they know what these kids do with their pictures in the privacy of their boudouirs..???

On the flip side, it wouldnt be all that bad if i were a rock star and the chicks thought of me as a sex-symbol (if all goes well, a likely reality in the not-so-distant future)...i wouldnt wanna be degraded to nuthin more than an object of female lust though...there's more to me than my sexy body and boyish good looks, and i'd want the world to know that!!

i guess part of the blame here lies with the male audience that perpetuates the demand for hot female bods in music...its not our fault, really...we're wired that way, us guys...we're stimulated visually and we cant help it...i just think women shouldnt blame us for thinkin of women as sex objects so much when all around us, thats exactly how women allow themselves to be portrayed...

i'd appreciate some female input on this though...would you chicks out there mind if you knew that pimply-faced, acne-ridden, hormone fueled teens around the world (and admittedly, many grown men as well) were havin lewd sexual fantasies about you on a regular basis..?

would it be a source of pride, or a shameful weight around your neck...? or would it not make any difference at all..? dont forget to consider the enormous wealth and fame that your new-found status as a poorly-disguised porn star comes with!!

let's just say that i wouldnt watch a pussycat doll video for the music...nicole makes my liver quiver, and i dont really care how well she sings (note that she and i are on a first name basis)...would it bother you if you were in her shoes..??

would the fact that you prance around in those outfits (or lack of outfits) for the viewing pleasure of pervs all over the world (all men are pervs to varying degrees) make you think any less of yourselves...?

thinkin back on all that stuff ive just written, i guess i am a bit of a prude...i get the feeling that you women like being sexy, and enjoy the effect that ur hotness has on men (or am i tragically misinformed..???)

it seems about time we lifted the stigma attached to women being openly sexual...women have as much a right to the art of seduction as men do, so i might as well be grateful and enjoy the view!

i still cant help but feel that its a shame that sex sells as much as it does, and that women sell it as much as they do...i'm sure there are plenty of fugly women out there who, while immensely talented, will never make it in the music industry...


plenty of ugly men too, for that matter...women buy into sex as much as we guys do...think about it...who was the last really ugly male artist uve seen on MTV...? even Timbaland has a teddy-bear adorability thats sorta marketable..

no worries for me though...im gorgeous...

as i'm writing this, i'm tuned into MTV, and guess what...another hot chick!! no idea who she is, but im definitely gonna find out!! the song's mediocre at best though, now that i've forced myself to stop focussing on her cleavage...

Question is, should it bother me at all that the only reason im even interested is because of the fact that she's lickin her lips with her top unbuttoned....?

i dont know...you tell me...

This is Dreamer, signing out.

How do you know?

Hey, y'all...

I've decided to broach a topic rather close to my heart today, a topic that a part of me is tellin not to broach....today i open the floodgates on the topic of religion, but first of, let me state my stand on the issue...I believe in a God, but i also acknowledge that my believe has no logical basis for existing...


I started believing in the Christian God since i was 13, and was converted from atheism by my parents, who themselves had recently converted...as i tend to do with so many things, i plunged headfirst into my then new found faith and quest for salvation....

at the tender age of 13, it was easy to believe without questioning, but as i grew older, i felt all wasnt right with my faith, and though i didnt quite know what it was about christianity that bugged me, the rose tinted glasses did come off...

This post isn't about the fallacies of christianity as i saw it, or as anyone sees it, for that matter...this post is about religion in general, and some of the problems that stem from it..This post is not about any one religion specifically, but the unquestionable faith that some of us ascribe to....

My concern with religion lies not in mankind's inclination to believe in a god, or in gods, that have never been proven to exist...as i have said earlier, i myself do still believe in a God...my concern here is in the absolute certainty with which so many on our sacred planet practice their religions...

When i was younger, i was so convinced that christianity was the only true religion, and that the jews had got it wrong for rejecting our Christ...i had not a shadow of doubt in my mind that i was right, and that anyone believing in anything other than my truth was just plain wrong...

It was easy to feel that way, with the good book itself calling for such absolute faith, the kind abraham showed when he almost sacrificed his only son to his God..these days, ten years after i last went to a church with a complete believe in the christian faith, i've realised something that shoulda occurred to me much earlier, had i only stopped to think about it...

I wasnt the only one absolutely convinced...practitioners of every religion believe themselves to be the chosen / enlightened ones, and while we christians prayed for the salvation of these pagans, in their eyes, they were just as convinced that we were the true heathens....

Its something sooooo incredibly obvious, but i never really saw things that way, because contemplating religion was something i was actually a little wary of doing until recently... subconsciously, i knew that if i thought about it too much, i'd find reasons to not believe as much...

within the christian faith itself, there are hundreds of different takes on how God should be worshipped...within the realm of religion as a whole, there are thousands or maybe even millions of believes, each with their own paths to salvation...mankind has never agreed on God, and the reason is plain and simple...

We just dont know. There is absolutely no way of knowing which way is right and which is wrong, or if in fact there even is such a thing as a right way...i could shout as much as i wanted to about my way being right, but that wouldnt lend any weight to my argument...there's just no way of knowing for sure....


i think it is important at this juncture to stress that i am not admonishing the practice of religion...i am also NOT accusing all religious practitioners of being unreasonably judgemental know-it-alls..there is nothing wrong believing in something greater than ourselves...it is an innate feature of man...we thirst for meaning in this world that passes us by...

My problem with religion is when we allow it to blind us to the fact that we really don't know any better than anyone else out there...we claim to believe in something bigger than the parameters of our own human minds, and we believe in it so strongly, to the point that we feel that we've got it figured out...the irony...

we then take our believes and enforce the ideologies encompassed in those believes upon the whole world...we let these believes tell us who to love and who to hate...we allow these believes to tell us that some wars are justified...we allow these believes to tell us who to ostracize and who to embrace...

It sickens me when human beings discard their humanity and neglect each other in the name of a God...it sickens me when complex social issues become 2-dimensional moral issues when seen thru the 'eyes of faith'..

What im trying to say is this...feel free to believe in whatever you want, but while you're here on earth, the one thing we all have in common is our complete ignorance in matters of religion, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not...

there is no reason, logic, or morality in allowing things we do not know or understand divide us..any religion that does divide or discriminate is one that should be fundamentally questioned..

On a personal note, i feel that any God worth believing in would not create a race of confused people, and then condemn the vast majority of these confused people for not choosing the right religion, when the choice itself all along was so damn confusing..

i think judgement operates on a whole different system, one thats less enforced, and more intrinsic....we all have a conscience, and we all have brains...maybe God would like it if we started using these God-given compasses just a little bit more...?

This is Dreamer, signing out.