Victim of a Cosmic Conspiracy

I am in a sulky mood. In my state of sulkiness, I have concocted two phrases that aptly describe my mood. I thought it would be wise to jot them down somewhere.

1. I am surely the butt of God's cosmic prank....
2. As i venture thru this life, my mystical aura follows closely behind, his fly wide open....

 I'm not sure what else there is to say.

I hope tomoro proves to be a better day.

This is Dreamer, signing out.

Count on Me, Singapore

This is a National Day Message brought to you by *******

Attention Singaporeans:

Today, we commemorate what was once a new beginning for our now majestic nation, forged 45 years ago within the furnaces of strife and uncertainty!!

Today, we celebrate FREEDOM from colonial suppression, and the FREEDOM to create our own glorious destinies!!

Today, we stand UNITED as a nation proud and true, our blood pumping redder than any red the world has ever seen before!!

today, we...we...we.....

fine...i'll cut the bullshit rhetoric...it is national day today though, and with the 9th of august upon us yet again, in light of the plethora of nationalistic dissonance surging from Facebook, I've decided to add my own two cents worth..today, we shall talk about patriotism...

I shall begin by talking about what patriotism is NOT...patriotism is not blind... patriotism is not some sorta mystical allegiance to a flag...it is not an abstract devotion to the illusionary notion of a divine state....

patriotism ought to be a devotion to people...loosely put, patriotism is the desire that the citizens of a nation are empowered to live their lives to the fullest, and that the powers that be work towards the fulfilment of this goal...

for what is a country if not for its people..? a country is more than it's streets and buildings..it is more than it's governments and leaders...

it is more than it's rich and powerful..it is more, even, than a designated area of land, demarcated by lines on a map..

A country is, more than anything, the sum of its citizens

people often blabber on about patriotism, without stopping to think what the word really means...most treat patriotism with the same myopia that surrounds religion..

unquestioning loyalty and support for every national endeavour are hailed as the hallmarks of a true patriot...UNQUESTIONING LOYALTY...hmmmm

a true patriot cares enough to ask why, and to disagree if necessary...if a policy is unfair, or if it lacks compassion, or if it is exploitative in any way, the truly loyal citizen ought to have the mind and the voice to speak up

(pause to reflect)

that being said...i cant help but feel that patriotism is a dangerous thing when it is divisive on a global scale...patriotism should not be about "us against them"....

all in all, i see patriotism as a halfway point between the neanderthals and a global Utopia...patriotism is the first step towards forging a truly accepting and all-embracing global community...

the countries that CAN make themselves better through patriotism OUGHT TO make themselves better, such that the rest of the world can follow suit...but it all has to start WITH the citizens, FOR the citizens

Find the patriot in you...stop being so spineless and agreeable all the time.

And have yourself an awesome National Day.

This is Dreamer, signing out.

Dreamer Lives

I am a creative genius. This is not a boast. It is a FACT. Other indisputable FACTs include the following:

1. The world is not flat
2. The universe is expanding
3. The earth revolves around its sun
4. i-Phones are overrated

The list goes on.

Creative Geniuses are hard to come by.

Creative Geniuses are often shunned.

Creative Geniuses are NOT the same as creatively inclined people.

Creatively inclined people fit in and conform to man-made conventions. It is this refusal/inability to let go of such restrictions that separates the creatively inclined from the Creative Genius.

The Creative Genius does not see a world/universe limited by rules/norm/conventions. He/She sees the world/universe as it is.

In the eyes of the Creative Genius, the world/universe is:

1. Abstract
2. Absolute
3. Unpredictable
4. Predictable
5. Misleading
6. Obvious
7. Infinite
8. One

The list goes on.

The creative genius creates by deconstructing. Curiousity and Intellect (these two are one and the same) prompt the creative genius to strip the world/universe down to its smallest components, and to create perspective.

"Why" is the mantra of the Creative Genius. To continually ask "why" is to seek the divine.


I am a Creative Genius. I shit you not.


This is Dreamer, signing out.

Death of a Dreamer

Fuck this planet......a planet full of morons and cunts does not deserve to be saved or protected...i wish every one of you a slow and painful demise...i hope you live long enuff to suffer in the hell you create...

stupid and selfish people surround me...you are all cunts...you are worse than the shit of a rabid toxic rodent...you are a disgrace...if god ever existed, he'd have slit his wrists by now...the sight of you lot woulda driven him to insanity and his own self-inflicted resurrection-less death...

there is no point in educating you...wisdom is lost on the fucking dimwits who make up the masses...it would be foolish to even try, and i have been a fool for trying...

i give up...i will stick by the principles truth and logic have taught me, but not expect the rest of you to understand or care....i will live alone as an enigma to you stupid fucks, and i will die alone...

i hate you...i hate you for your denseness...i hate you for your cowardice...i hate you for not caring about anything other than yourselves...i hate you for your conformity...i hate you for ur fucking lack of an imagination...i hate you for ur love of money...and i hate you for ur hollow words...

you are dead to me, world...you have ceased to matter...ur concerns are no longer mine...go bother some other naive prat with ur fraudulent promises of hope...i will no longer be ur sucker...i am no longer ur ally......

today, we go our separate ways...mine will be the path of crushed dreams, misery, and isolation, and yours...i do not need to tell you where you're going...you are alreadi halfway down the highway to hell.....

i will not enjoy this...it will hurt to live and not believe in sumthing better...it will hurt more to believe...as you have forsaken me, i am now forsaking you...

i bid you fairwell, and wish upon you endless war and tyranny...i wish you a life devoid of purpose and colour, a life where u are nothing more than the few things you own, and a life where ignorance is the pillow that comforts you while you lay on a bed of rusty nails....

This is Dreamer, signing off.

SMALL NATION, NO RESOURCES

The phrase has been used over and over and over and over and over again as an excuse to justify Singapore's politics...recently, ive come to realise that my one of my closest and most intelligent friends buys into it as well...

singapore will IMPLODE if it does not operate at a ga-zillion miles an hour all the time, because we are a SMALL NATION WITH NO RESOURCES..malaysia and indonesia will crush us, and our nation will cease to exist...longer hours and smaller paycheques are a tiny price to pay to preserve our delicate, delicate, quality of life...

i of course believe that Singapore prioritises the quality of life of the rich over that of its vast 'average-joe' majority...my friend says average joes just have to stay true to the Singaporean vision, and everyone of them will eventually have access to a 5000-bucks-a-month job, provided they put in the hard work for 5 to 10 years..im not sure where to even begin with that...

oh wait, i do..if everyone's got the promotions and 5000-bucks-a-month jobs, who'd be doing all the real work? hmmm...i guess thats where the foreign labour comes in...3.5million singaporeans pushin pens ard, and 1.5 million foreigners actually doing things...sounds workable

i dont want to fault singapore too much on being competitive..its allowed us a way of life that other places in the region can only have wet dreams about...but at what cost, and where do we draw the line..? when does the well-being of the average joe become more important than our need to remain competitive?

in my opinion, we might alredi have crossed the line a long time ago without even realising it..it's quite normal to see a Singaporean having to work for more than 12 hrs a day, not to accumulate great wealth, but to make ends meet..

is this really acceptable? do we as a nation really not have a choice, being a SMALL NATION WITH NO RESOURCES? will Singapore self-destruct by slowing down in order to look after its ppl better?

I posted a comment on a blog i chanced upon after googling SMALL NATION NO RESOURCES..it belonged to a Mr Rajan Rishyakaran, a political science major from SMU, who i was surprised to learn my close and intelligent friend was a fan of on facebook...

I was more suprised to find that Mr Rajan had passed away, rendering my question somewhat moot (is moot the right word here?)...

nonetheless, i shall post my question here...i will point out at this point, however, that posting my question here might be even more "moot" (i'm taking creative liberties with the word moot) than posting it on the dead man's blog, considering the dead man actually had an audience, and i dont...

here's the question regardless...

"Hi there,

My name is clyde, and on Saturday, i was debating with my friend over Singapore’s recent immigration policies

i was of the impression that such widespread immigration was detrimental to the quality of life of the average Singaporean, and that governments ought to be protecting the well-being of its citizens, and not the pockets of the MNC’s, that clearly appreciate the cheaper labour brought in from neighbouring countries

my friend, however, was firmly rooted in the ‘fact’ that in order for Singapore to stay relevant and competitive in the region, it would need to remain competitive by ensuring cheap labour was readily available, even if this is at the expense of the average Singaporean

his main reason was the “small nation, no resources” argument u mentioned in your post (i googled the phrase, and was led here)

imo, i do not believe that Singapore would implode if the country slowed down productivity-wise and took better care of its ppl..i found my friend’s argument somewhat elitist, in that it looked after the rich and neglected the plight of the ordinary Joe

nonetheless, i would still value your input, because uve been trained in political science, which i guess kinda makes u an expert…can singapore afford to slow down and look after its ppl better?"


i might have added that while cheap labour does ensure companies stay healthy and competitive and efficient, it is worth noting that really cheap labour has a name for it...the system of really cheap labour which made America into the most prosperous country in the world was called slavery

Your opinions would be much appreciated (i'm taking creative liberties with the "Your", considering nobody's probably ever gonna read this)...

RIP, Mr Rajan..i may not have known you, but your dissidence was admirable

Forgotten Thoughts

found this draft that for some reason, i never got round to publishing...thought id post it in its raw, unedited, unfinished glory...

"everybody is trying to be somebody else...there's no escaping it....we are all copycats...i'm writing today's post while halfway thru a movie....

The Breakfast Club...who woulda thought the 80s coulda come up with somethin so good...the human propensity to immitate is foregrounded in this movie where 5 young people are typecasted to fit neatly into prescribed stereotypes...

i find myself wondering if there is anything truly original on this planet...are any of us really individuals, or are we all just merely conforming...?

If we are conforming, is there anyway to escape it...?

Do we even need to..?"

This is Dreamer, signing out.

Thank God It's Monday

i've begun to hate the weekends more than any other part of the week....every friday night, i find myself counting down the hours to Monday...it's tragic, really...the hectic monotony of the working week holds more promise for me than the nothingness of a lazy saturday...i have become an activity junkie...

it says a little something abt an individual when he no longer knows how to appreciate his free time (i cant help but wonder if using the generalised "he" to refer to the hypothetical individual, as opposed to the more comprehensive "he or she", is politically incorrect...i can't help but wonder if i should even care....hmmm...) just what exactly it says though, im not very sure of, because as i craft this sentence out in the space that used to be occupied by the last two sentences that i'd typed out only minutes ago, and which i subsequently proceeded to delete only seconds ago (thereby effectively denying you the possibility of ever having been aware of these two sentences' rather short lived and somewhat inconsequential existences, were it not for the inclusion of this terribly longwinded and overcomplicated sentence with many additional superfluous clauses and unnecessary words thrown in just for the sake of good old fashioned fun), i begin to realise that what i originally thought to be the case might have been a tad bit oversimplistic...hmmmmm.....

free time is all fine and dandy when there's just the right amount of it...its a precarious thing, free time....too little leaves us suicidal as we crave for quiet and solitude...too much on the other hand leaves us...well...it leaves us suicidal, as we crave for company and activity to alleviate the boredom...juz the right amount leaves you feeling whole and contented, but the fact that so many of us arent whole and contented just goes to show how difficult gettin the balance right is....

claire danes has nice legs....


i am apathetically aware that there are likely a significant number of loopholes, contradictions and flaws in this entry thus far...i shall proceed unfettered...

i think i belong to the camp that has too much free time and too little to fill it with...i blame it on my self-imposed cashflow restrictions...my lack of a social life has nuthing to do with me being uninteresting or unlikeable as a person...it has everything to do with my bank account...

persevere, young man!! monday will be upon u soon, and this awful weekend will be a thing of the past!!

This is Dreamer signing off.....sigh...

The fluffy pink clouds you float on are like green ponies...they're not REAL!!

i despise positivity in others....it pisses me off oh so much when people start sounding like self help books, or those pick-me-up posters you always find in offices and hospital waiting rooms...it makes me wanna shred these people's tongues with a fork...

of course, i exagerrate when i say that...but u get the picture...i get irritated...i think life would be a hell of alot better if ppl were just generally bummed out...ppl would meet and say things like "how's life..?", and the other person would go, "same shit, different day", or somethin along those lines...nobody'd be out tryin to prove any point...shared misery would take the competetive edge out of livin...

positivity is to me a fragile, delicate thing....it is not the default human state...it is an artificially constructed shell that we build ard the dreariness of everyday life...we try and convince ourselves that we're above the problems we're surrounded by, and that we're in control of our lives...the truth is, that sorta control is an illusion...it is not somethin we can actually have...


ppl who sound like self help books seem to me like glass bubbles...they float around all glistening and shiny on the outside, but once theyre hit by a shit storm, they sink, and on contact with the slightest of sharp edges, shatter into a ga-zillion shards of irrepairable nothingness...

i know im being unfairly harsh here...im sure some pretty bubbles have emerged from numerous shit storms unscathed...these lucky few have no doubt gone on to write self help books on the powers of positivity, in order that mere mortals such as us might benefit from their perkiness...

i cant help feelin that these success stories are the exceptions to the norm...for every self help guru out there, there are a million hapless souls tryin and failing to overcome life thru the wonders of silver linings and half full glasses...i cant help but feel that theyd be a whole lot better admitting that life's a cold hard bitch, and that if we all stopped lookin up so much and looked straight at each other instead, we'd find comfort in the fact that we're all facing this shitty life together...

"positivity" tells the world that its wrong to feel down, disillusioned, or depressed about the state of our world...it tells us that we have the power to feel happiness inspite of the sorry state of things, when deep down inside we know we really shouldnt be all that pleased..."positivity"is an illusion and a delusion...it is the denial of reality...

hmmm...im probably comin across as all doom-and-gloomy...abandon hope all ye who enter here!! and all that jazz... well..in reality, im probably alot more positive than any of you out there, coz i havent given up on this world just yet...the positivity i feel is honest though...it is as far fetched as any science fiction movie out there, but i am fully aware that it is...

life still sucks ass, we're all just corporate slaves, and countries use god as an excuse for people to murder each over oil and money, but maybe if we'd all juz bitch about it a little more instead of tryin to convince ourselves and each other about how good we're feelin, things would get a little better...? who knows....

And that, by the way, is why i call myself the dreamer...

This is Me signing out.

Don't get too comfortable....

i cant seem to do a thing about the irregular font sizes in my last entry...how utterly, utterly annoying....

i shall leave it as it is...it is good to sometimes invite a little chaos into one's well-structured universe, just to mix things up a little...

just as variety is the spice of life, the opposite is likewise true...regularity and routine are the bane of life...

i dont really have much to say today...i shall conclude with a poem i scribbled at work after glancing out the office window...

THE WORLD IS GRAY.

Sitting at my lonely seat
doesnt help my aching feet,
nor heavy eyes that yearn for rest...
Sitting here's an awful test.
I turn, i gaze, the world behold,
through glass for treasures great, untold...
Before me lies not glorious day
'cause Everything is Fuckin' Gray...

This is Dreamer, signing out....