I've always had a fascination with the darker, grislier side of life...i find beauty in the mess, charm in the ironic, and solace in the enigma..googling suicide was to me a little like fantasizing about halle berry givin me a lapdance in her catwoman suit...nice to think about, but unlikely to ever happen...
the first website i stumbled upon was a Christian website...it told me that there wasnt such a thing as a painless suicide, because "the real pain comes after death, being burnt eternally in hell" Nice..
the second site told me this story about a gal who really did wanna know how to kill her self painlessly..."How do I end my life when I'm too much of a coward to do it?" she asked...that struck a chord...
i read on...this woman had a list a problems sucky enuff to make granite weep...gawd dammit, life can be such an utterly cold and merciless bitch...strangely enuff, reading this lady's problems gave me strength...
Its like i said, Misery loves company...the problem is, its so hard to find miserable company..everyone's putting up happy fronts and brave faces, and i guess its the safer thing to do in a world that crushes weakness the way 50 meters of water crushes a tin can...
This is Dreamer, signing out...
